I feel that I am starting this blog so that I can become more confident in the woman that I am and that I want to be.  I feel that over the last few years that I have lost some of the person that I am.  How does that happen? How do you lose someone you have always been?

I find that the simple answer is life. I don’t feel that I lead a complicate life its fairly simple, but when you start to add things, tasks, and obligations, the complicated starts to creep in.  Its has been an interesting road.  I came to the decision to go to nursing school a few years after we got married.  From then on I feel as if the years following that have been a big blur filled with many experiences, some amazing like having my kids and some sad and enlightening.  But even after all the good things that happen I still find myself walking around in a daze, like you are cut off from the rest of the world.  I sometimes feel like the joy is zapped out of me for no reason at all.  I love my life, my husband, my children, my family.  I would even say that I love my job!  My friends and family probably don’t think I like them, I don’t see them as much as I want or should for that matter.  I really feel like telling them that awful phrase, “It’s not you, it’s me.”.  Frankly at the end of the day I just want to stay home and enjoy doing, well nothing.

Is the problem the fact that I have too much on my plate or the fact that I haven’t been handling it like I should?  My goal is to start seeing the old me, as well as starting to discover who I have yet to become, as a wife, mother and woman. Not one person can tell what is going on in that brain of ours. The key is that we, you and I are not so different.  Real life is not all smiles and happiness, there are struggles, there are times when we are jealous, times when we think what the heck am I doing??

Yet there are so many more times when we can rejoice, smile, encourage, love, and just be a light when one is needed. So many times, I’ve come across a person out there that gives me just what I need at the right time whether its God, family, friends or someone random on social media. Now it’s time to try to be that for someone else.